first_img Sharing is caring! 36 Views   no discussions Share By Shauna ZamarripaPick the right time to have a difficult conversation. Photo credit: sxc.hu/fnavarro, fnavarro My home is full of very high-strung, alpha personalities. Because of this, difficult conversations are difficult to have in a productive manner; especially when a difficult conversation is one rife with a difficulty or problem you are experiencing with another member in the household. Over the years, I have constructed a plan to help me have difficult conversations that usually don’t end in door slamming and silent treatments….well, okay, at least half the time, it isn’t perfect, but it’s a good start. Use what I’ve learned to help you time those less than stellar moments for challenging conversations in your own life.1.Outline what you want to sayIt helps me a lot when I outline what I want to say. This keeps me on target and on point. For instance, if I want to say, “The way you constantly belittle everything I try to do isn’t helpful to our relationship,” and outline the ways in which it affects me along with productive (not finger pointing) examples, I can stay on message.2.Write it downSimilar to when I am writing an article or a blog, I write it down; almost like a speech. Okay, in my case, I type it out, but it’s still the same concept. Choose your weapon; pen and paper or fingers and keyboard. There really isn’t a wrong answer. Getting your frustrations out on paper not only help you figure out what you want to say, but also help you vet the frustrations, and evaluate if your “complaint” is a meaningless gripe, or something a little more valid.3.Lean it outI am a “bottler”. In a sense, I take things in, bottle them all up and tend to explode like Mt. Vesuvius, going off on tangents and missing the point of my message –it doesn’t help that I’m hot tempered either. Once I’ve written down what I want to say, using my outline as a guide, I can lean it out. Then I print it out. Having something in front of me to reference, helps me say what I need to say in a very straightforward, direct manner. (Is there really any other way?)4. Pick some “one on one” timeLet me tell you, in a family of five, you don’t want to have a conversation in a group setting; someone either takes you off topic, or will defend whomever you have an issue with. Go for a ride in the car, take a walk, go to the park, but whatever you do, make it one on one.5. Choose your location…carefullyMake your location conversation appropriate. You don’t want eavesdroppers or “Nosey Nellys” overhearing sensitive family material that gives them fodder for gossip cannons. Select a venue that’s appropriate for a conversation. For instance, if you want to discuss sexual awareness with your teenager, a local restaurant might not be the best location.Five steps to one solution: A conversation that can be had in a calm, direct format, where you are heard and the offending party is given an opportunity to respond calmly and in kind. I can’t guarantee that it will work for every conversation, or for every personality type, but it’s worked pretty well for me, and it’s definitely a method more folks should try to learn how to handle confrontation and difficult communication more effectively. From there, I wish you good luck!Source: Yahoo Shine Magazine Sharecenter_img Tweet Share LifestyleRelationships How to pick a time to have difficult conversations. by: – July 14, 2011last_img

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